


Our world isn't ready to understand us

by yuraxchan



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentions of Sexual Activities, More angst, Unbeta-ed, age gap, bff dotae, bff jaeten, cursing, did i say angst, shameless jae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 17:39:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7541833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuraxchan/pseuds/yuraxchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In retrospect, Taeyong should have known he couldn’t keep this secret for long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our world isn't ready to understand us

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [NCTprompts_II](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/NCTprompts_II) collection. 



> Title from the song "Odds Are Against Us" by Billy (is Not Ok).
> 
>  
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
> Taeyong has been flirting with his friend's younger brother, Jaehyun, for a while. It's okay until he finds Jaehyun's photos on Taeyong's phone.

In retrospect, Taeyong should have known he couldn’t keep this secret for long. His best friend was too smart not to realize his little infatuation with his younger brother at some point. Besides, Taeyong was shit at lying. As soon as his eyes fell on the younger, he was a goner. Jaehyun was just gorgeous; flawless skin, cute dimples, sparkling eyes, sunshine smile, smart, with a great personality and a body to die for. Taeyong instantly knew he was fucked. Despite Doyoung’s warning, the first time they met, he still had let Jaehyun flirt with him. He wasn’t proud of it.

He had tried so hard to stay away from Jaehyun but to no avail. The younger was totally his type, which was making it difficult for him not to want him, but totally off limit. Jaehyun was 1) his best friend’s younger brother 2) 10 years younger than Taeyong, and it should have been enough for him to back off. But it wasn’t. If Jaehyun hasn’t been so nice and friendly, perhaps Taeyong could have resisted his charms, but the younger was obviously into him from day one too, which made it harder for Taeyong to avoid the inevitable from happening. He just wished the situation would have gone smoother.

It all started when Jaehyun started living with his older brother, his flat being closer to his brother’s university. Truthfully, if Jaehyun wasn’t around Doyoung, and if Doyoung wasn’t Taeyong’s best friend, Taeyong wouldn’t have met him again after all his years. He totally blamed them both.

Before everything went downhill, at 32, Taeyong was living a rather peaceful live, working in an ad firm as a publicist, spending his free time lazing around his apartment, meeting with his best friend and sometimes—when he felt like it—his family. Peaceful could probably be a synonym of boring too for some people, but Taeyong didn’t care. He was content with his life. He didn’t really do relationships, not because he didn’t want to but because he still hadn’t met the one, or at least someone he would be comfortable living with.

When Doyoung told him in passing that his younger brother Jaehyun _—“you remember him right? He liked it a lot when you played with him when he was a kid”_ , Taeyong did remember but not that much since he was a teenager at the time—Taeyong didn’t think much of it. He was curious to meet him, knowing Jaehyun must have grown up a lot now, but that was it. He had offered to help for the move, like a good best friend, before they changed the subject.

That fateful day, Taeyong was casually dressed—to move dusty boxes he surely didn’t need to wear a suit, navy blue joggings and a white tank top would do—but quickly regretted it when his eyes fell on Jaehyun’s figure. Tight black skinnies that molded his legs and ass to the perfection, a shirt that hugged his built torso; in a word, Jaehyun was dressed to impress. When the younger caught his gaze, he quickly straightened up and came to say hi, sending Taeyong a blinding smile. “Taeyong hyung, long time no see!” he chirped.   

Tall. That was the first thing Taeyong thought as his eyes slowly travelled from his feet to Jaehyun’s face, the younger’s hand hovering awkwardly mid-air. Doyoung elbowed him in the ribs, “Stop staring and act like a proper human being for once.” Taeyong quickly shook his hand, trying to ignore the warmth of his palm and how big his hand was covering Taeyong’s small one. “Hi Jaehyun, you’ve grown up a lot since the last time I saw you.”

Jaehyun chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “It’s been a while since you left your parents’ home, that’s why.” Taeyong smiled. He remembered fondly the days he would spend in Doyoung’s parents’ house as a kid, and later as a teenager, before moving out for university. Jaehyun was only 8 when Taeyong stopped dropping by Doyoung’s house, both Doyoung and he staying in the dorms.

By the end of the day, Taeyong was totally smitten with the younger, going home with Jaehyun’s number in his phone.

 

 

 

Taeyong fucked up he knew, but he didn’t regret falling for the younger. He would never regret it. What he regretted was how Doyoung had learnt the truth. Taeyong felt so stupid to have been so careless.

They were hanging out to grab diner after a long day like they used to and Taeyong left his phone on the table while going to the washroom. He had texted Jaehyun before entering the restaurant, asking him to wait for him so they could watch a movie together or something and offering his boyfriend to spend the night, but had forgotten to lock his phone. Of course, Jaehyun had chosen the wrong time to reply and all hell broke loose. Doyoung heard Taeyong’s phone bleep, thought it could be important and saw Jaehyun’s text.

Incredulous, Doyoung then scrolled though the conversation and Tayeong’s phone gallery which was full of Jaehyun’s pictures, and pictures of them together kissing, hugging, smiling outside or indoor. His blood boiled when he found some pictures of his baby brother half-naked with his hair mussed, lips red, a fucked out expression on his face. Doyoung wanted to kill Taeyong. Calming himself down, he put down the phone and waited patiently for his best friend to return, acting like nothing was wrong.

“Did you order something already?” Taeyong asked as he sat down in front of him.

“Tae.” Doyoung replied, his face grave. “Since when are you fucking my little brother?”

Taeyong’s face became white as a sheet and he widened his eyes. “I…I…Doyoung, let me explain!” he stuttered, already standing up to pacify his best friend.

“I don’t think there’s anything to explain,” he growled, clenching his fists before standing up too. “Let’s go talk somewhere else.”

Taeyong nodded eagerly, scampering after him. His face felt sweaty and his hands were trembling. He didn’t know what to say or what to do to appease his best friend. “I know you’re mad-”

“You don’t know shit.” Doyoung seethed, glaring at him. “You’re my best friend, Tae, my fucking best friend! I trusted you! I told you before that my brother was off limit, it should be obvious without me repeating it to you that you should stay away from him!”  

“I know,” Taeyong cried out, frowning. “I just…I tried but I couldn’t stay away from him. I love him, I love Jaehyun.”

Doyoung snorted, rolling his eyes. “He’s waiting for you at your place, right? Let’s go there.”

Confused, Taeyong faltered. “Why?” 

“Because I want to have this conversation with him too, then I’m going to drive him back home, far away from you!” Doyoung screamed in a fit of rage. He was breathing heavily, staring at Taeyong dangerously. “Let’s go.”

Taeyong didn’t even think of warning Jaehyun before they dashed through his door, Doyoung walking straight to his bedroom. Jaehyun looked scared when he saw his brother came in, followed by his boyfriend. Taeyong looked like he aged ten years and Jaehyun’s heart sped up. “H-Hyung?” he croaked out.

Doyoung teared off the sheets from his body, grabbed his brother’s clothes and threw them at his face. “Dress up, quick.”

Jaehyun sent a look in Taeyong’s direction and his boyfriend nodded, biting his lips. They stayed motionless as Jaehyun put on his clothes, Doyoung resolutely not looking at Taeyong. When Jaehyun was decent again, Doyoung pointed to the door and pushed his younger brother outside. Jaehyun gasped, nearly tripping on air and Taeyong’s eyes flashed as he kept Jaehyun from falling on his face. “The fuck? Don’t take it out on Jaehyun!”  

“Shut the fuck up.” Doyoung snarled, grabbing his brother roughly and pulling him out of Taeyong’s grasp. Jaehyun hurried to the living room and hovered near the couch, not knowing what to do. “Sit on the couch.” Jaehyun complied, not wanting to worsen the situation, but his eyes searched for Taeyong’s. Taeyong offered him a small reassuring smile and stood close to him. Doyoung crossed his arms on his chest and stood in front of them, glaring at them both. “Since when?”

“A little over 6 months,” Taeyong answered quietly.

Doyoung’s jaw clenched. “Jaehyun, did he force himself onto you? You can tell me if he hurt you. You’re young, he shouldn’t have taken advantage of your innocence and naivety.”

Taeyong’s heart constricted. He couldn’t believe his best friend thought he would force himself on someone, even less Jaehyun of all people. He knew Doyoung was mad but he was taking it too far. “I would never hurt him.”

“I’m not talking to you.” Doyoung said. “Jae, reply me.”

“Hyung…We love each other…Don’t be mad at Tayeong, he did nothing wrong. He didn’t want to, but I pestered him until he said yes. It’s my fault, not his. Please don’t be mad at him.” Jaehyun pleaded, worried.

“No. It’s not your fault, he’s the adult here. If it’s true then he should have rejected you. Perhaps he manipulated you-”

“Doyoung!” Taeyong cut in, upset. “You know me, you’re my best friend! You know I would never do that to anyone! I know you’re mad but please don’t say such offending and stupid things.”

“Best friend?” Doyoung snorted. “I don’t know you at all. My best friend wouldn’t betray me and fuck my brother behind my back.”

Jaehyun winced at the term. “We’re not fucking, we love each other.”

“Sure, that’s why his phone is full of pictures of you half-naked? He’s a pervert.” Doyoung reasoned.

Blushing in embarrassment, Jaehyun looked down at the floor. “I’m the one who sends him those pictures and who asks him to take them. I just want him to think of me when we’re not together…”

Taeyong’s eyes softened at that and he suppressed a smile, finding his boyfriend adorable. If he didn’t think Doyoung would kill him if he touched him, Tayeong would hug him tight and kiss him senseless.

Squinting at them, Doyoung sighed loudly. “What else did you do for him? Have you gone all the way? Is he rough with you?”

“It has nothing to do with you.” Taeyong snapped, annoyed. “He’s not a minor, and I told you, I would never hurt him. Stop being an asshole, you’re hurting all of us with your accusations.”

Jaehyun frowned. “I’m 22, hyung. I’m not a baby anymore. Besides, my— _our_ —sex life shouldn’t concern you.”

“It concerns me when you’re sleeping with a guy ten years older than you.” Doyoung remarked, sending Taeyong a murderous gaze.

“Is it only because of our age gap that you’re mad?” Jaehyun asked, incredulous.

“Yes, you should date people your age, but it’s also because it’s Taeyong.” His brother responded. Taeyong tensed up. “I’m his best friend, I know how he’s like and you deserve better.” Hurt by the statement, Taeyong flinched and looked away. 

“Taeyong is an amazing person.” Jaehyun, the sweetheart he was, fought back, hell bent on defending his boyfriend. “You know it too, why are you being so difficult and mean?”

“Why are you acting like a spoiled brat? Did you think of mom and dad? About me?” Doyoung shot back. “You’re being unfair, Jae, and selfish.” He shook his head, disappointed by his little brother’s attitude. “Now, we’re going home. End of the discussion.”

“Doyoung…” Taeyong tried softly.

“I don’t want to hear you. I’ll deal with you later, when I’ll be less angry. If one day I’m less angry that is.” His best friend sighed. “As of now, stay away from Jaehyun, please. Don’t call him, don’t come see him. Stay the fuck away or I swear I’ll hurt you.”

Jaehyun bit his lips, blinking away his tears of frustration. He didn’t say a word as Doyoung leaded him out. He only mouthed a “I’m sorry” to Taeyong who stays frozen in the middle of the living room, his eyes not leaving his until Doyoung closed the door.

 

 

 

"What would you say if I told you, I once considered dating Doyoung?" Ten offered nonchalantly as he lied sprawled on Jaehyun’s bed. “How would you react?”  

Jaehyun pursed his lips, staring at his best friend from his desk chair, deep in thoughts. “I don’t think I would mind,” he shrugged.

“What if I didn’t tell you, kept it a secret then you suddenly discovered it? Wouldn’t you mind?” he continued.

“I would,” Jaehyun mumbled. “But-”

“No but! Jae, I love you, but your brother is right, you’re being selfish. You should have talked to him about it before flirting with Taeyong and before you two started dating.” Ten cut in, frowning.

“He would have said no…” Jaehyun sighed. “I just wanted to be with Taeyong, I didn’t think about anything else at the time. I wanted him.”

Ten offered him a sympathetic smile. “Life isn’t that easy, you have to think of the consequences of your acts and choices beforehand.”

“You know I act first and think later…” his best friend pouted. “I really love Taeyong, you know. It’s not a fling, I’m serious about him, and I think he is too. But now…I’m not so sure he still wants me.”

“Taeyong has to think of the consequences too. He’s older than you, he should have known better.” Ten was upset. He couldn’t help but judge his best friend’s boyfriend. He should have been the responsible one and avoid this mess.

“I don’t want to be a burden to him…” Jaehyun admitted quietly, dropping his gaze. “I don’t want him to be in trouble because of me.”

“Can you let him go?” Ten inquired softly. “Would you let Taeyong go if it meant he would get his best friend and old life back? Without you in it?”

Jaehyun pondered about it, his expression turning sour. “I would if I was sure it was the best for him.”

Ten sent him a small smile. “Talk to your brother. Convince him you’re not acting like a brat just to rebel and that you’re serious about Taeyong. He’ll be mad for a while, but I’m sure he’ll come around. If you’re lucky, he’ll even approve.”

His best friend sent him a long suffering look at the prospect of talking to Doyoung. His brother has been ignoring him for days. It wouldn’t be easy.

 

 

 

“Hyung. We have to talk.” Jaehyun started, blocking Doyoung’s way before he could lock himself up in his bedroom.

“Jae, I’m tired…” he sighed, looking exhausted. Jaehyun felt guilty, knowing it was his fault. His resolve faltered a bit.

“Your my brother, I love you hyung, and I know I was wrong to date Taeyong and hide it from you but I couldn’t control my feelings.” He bit his lip. “I know you’re mad at me, at us, but hear me out okay?”

Doyoung observed him silently, then nodded, urging him to continue.

“It’s true that I’m young but I know what I want, and I want him. No, please don’t interrupt me. I love Taeyong and I’m pretty sure he loves me too. We’ve been reckless and selfish, we hurt you and I’m really sorry about that but I’m not sorry for loving him.” Jaehyun said honestly. “Now…if you want me to break up with him, I will do it. I won’t do it for you though. I’ll do it for him because I want him to be happy, I don’t want him to be sad and to lose his best friend because of me.”

“Jae…” Doyoung trailed off.

“Isn’t it what you want? For us to break up?” Jaehyun asked bitterly. “I’m saying I’ll do it, you should be happy.”

“I’m not.” His brother snapped, frowning. “Are you trying to guilt trip me? Because if that’s what you’re trying to do, it won’t work. You seriously think I like fighting with you? And my best friend? Taeyong is like a brother to me, he hid it from me and it’s upsetting it’s true, but that’s not what it’s all about. I wouldn’t make you break up because of my hurt feelings.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “He’s 10 years older than you, Jae, he has his life all figured out but you don’t. You think you know what you want but you’re too young. Are you sure you’ll want to stay with him in ten years? He’ll be forty by then, what if you get bored and want something else?”

“You think I would get bored and dump him?” Jaehyun asked, hurt. “I know I’m young and I can’t tell what the future me will do but perhaps Taeyong will be the one who will leave me! It has nothing to do with age, hyung.”

Doyoung clenched his jaw. “I still don’t approve.”

“You don’t have to, but I don’t care. If we want to be together, then we will, no matter what!” he screamed before storming off and ignoring his brother’s calls of his name.

 

 

 

Taeyong didn’t know how to react when he opened the door to see Jaehyun, the younger looking upset. “You shouldn’t be here, Jae.”

“I don’t know where I’m supposed to be anymore,” he replied dryly, fidgeting.

“Go home,” Taeyong said. He badly wanted to hug the younger and cling to him but he knew he shouldn’t.  

Jaehyun came closer, taking a hold of his boyfriend’s shirt and looking up at him. “You’re my home.”

Taeyong’s breath hitched. “Don’t do that to me, Jae.” He pleaded, pained. “Please, go back to your brother.”

“Don’t you want me anymore?” Jaehyun asked, his voice trembling. “We could just live together, you and me. I don’t care if my parents and hyung don’t approve of us. As long as we’re together it’ll be okay.”

“It’s not that easy,” Taeyong replied, cupping his cheek. “Don’t make it harder for us, go home.”

Jaehyun sent him a betrayed look. “You didn’t seem to have a problem about us being together before, what changed? My brother knows, so what? His opinion is that important to you?”

“Doyoung is right, we shouldn’t be together. You should be with someone your age.” Taeyong reasoned.

Jaehyun snorted, taking a step back, Taeyong’s hand falling lifelessly at his side. “My brother brainwashed you? Did he convince you that we were wrong loving each other? Do you really think you were taking advantage of me?” he spited out. “But I was the one who came onto you, I was the one who asked you out, who said I liked you and that I wanted you!”

“Jae, I should have said no. I should have rejected you.” Taeyong whispered.

Jaehyun’s lips trembled. “Do you even love me? Or was it because it was thrilling to go out with you best friend’s little brother behind his back? Is that it? Do you get off on that?”

Taeyong’s face closed off. “You know it’s not true.”

“Why aren’t you fighting for us then?” continued the younger, choking on a sob. He started hitting his boyfriend’s chest to punctuate his words. “Why aren’t you doing anything? Why won’t you let me in? Shouldn’t you protect me instead of pushing me away?”

Taeyong grabbed his fist and pulled him to his chest, wrapping his free arm around his waist. “Because it’s easier. I’m not as brave as you. I don’t want to face your parents and see their disappointment, their hate, I don’t want you to fight with your brother, your whole family, I don’t want us to hide because our relationship is frowned upon, I don’t want you to be ashamed of us later, and I don’t want to lose my best friend.” He let out a shudder. “I love you, Jae. I really do. I know you know it too. But we can’t be together.”

“I missed you,” Jaehyun mumbled against his temple. “I miss your warmth, your voice, your lips, I miss your body against mine, I miss your cuddle, I miss your cock, I miss making love to you, I miss touching your body, I miss your smile, I miss playing with your hair, I miss you making food for me, I miss lazing on the couch with you, I miss you fucking me in the shower, I miss sending you text and sext and nudes just to rile you up, I miss going to the restaurant or the cinema with you, I miss you caressing my face in the morning, I miss sucking you off and your lips around my dick, I miss our long talk in the night, I miss your scent, I miss sleeping in the same bed as you, I miss seeing your face first thing in the morning, I miss y-”

His tirade was cut off by a deep kiss, Taeyong tiptoeing to shut him up with his lips. The kiss was desperate and passionate, teeth clashing, tongues battling together, lips getting bitten and cut, both of them tasting iron. “Please,” Taeyong begged. “Please, go home.” His tone didn’t seem to carry the same meaning though, and Jaehyun resisted the urge to push him back into his apartment to have his way with him, to keep him close and never let him go. Deep down, he knew it was a very bad idea, and it would make everything worse so, with a last lingering kiss to Taeyong’s lips, he drew back. With blurry eyes, he stared at Taeyong’s face, memorizing it, then left.

Taeyong stayed on his doorway, watching him disappear with a heavy heart. He knew he made the right choice but it didn’t mean it was easier. Rejecting Jaehyun has never been harder than tonight, he thought somberly. Taeyong knew that no matter what, they wouldn’t have their happy ending. He had known it as soon as he had seen Doyoung’s expression in the restaurant. Just thinking about it made his heart ache. He hoped his best friend would forgive him one day. He would miss Jaehyun very much, but at least, they made good memories together.

After one last look in the corridor, he closed the door. 


End file.
